8 Keigo Mistakes Non-Natives Make — and Which to Fix First

Table of contents

Who this article is for

• Expats working at Japanese companies who already know what keigo is (you’ve read our keigo guide) and now want to diagnose your own specific mistakes.
• Japanese learners at JLPT N3–N2 who have been corrected on a keigo phrase at work and want to know exactly why, and what to say instead.
• Anyone who has heard “don’t worry about keigo, you’re foreign” but doesn’t want to be the person making the same mistake on Monday.

This is a diagnostic tool, not a textbook. The mistakes are ranked by severity so you can prioritize, not memorize.

Self-diagnostic: 30 seconds to find your worst mistake

Answer yes or no to each. One yes = read that section first.

1. I’ve used irasshaimasu or meshiagaru about myself or my own actions → Mistake 1
2. I’ve replied ryōkai shimashita (了解しました) to a client or external partner → Mistake 3
3. I’ve said go-kurou-sama desu (ご苦労さまです) to a senior colleague → Mistake 4
4. I say things like “shiryō ni narimasu” or “kaigi no hou wa…” in business meetings or email → Mistake 5
5. I attach ~sasete itadakimasu to phrases that don’t require permission (like o-okuri sasete itadakimasu) → Mistake 6

All no? You probably only have Tier 3 habits left. Skim to the bottom — you’re in good shape.

The severity tier model: not all mistakes are equal

Most keigo articles list mistakes as a flat enumeration. In real workplaces, the damage from each mistake varies wildly. This article sorts them into three tiers so you know what to prioritize.

Fix Tier 1 before Tier 2 before Tier 3. That’s the spine of this article.

Tier 1: Fix these today (2 mistakes)

Grammar-level errors. Anyone notices, no matter the relationship. These break the keigo system itself, so fix them before anything else.

Mistake 1: Using sonkeigo about yourself (wrong direction of respect)

Sonkeigo elevates the other person. Kenjougo lowers yourself. Reverse them and you’re literally putting yourself above the listener.

Why this hurts: Saying irasshaimasu about yourself is roughly like calling yourself “Your Excellency.” Native listeners will catch it within a second.

In the A/B/C framework, this is a C-level mistake where the sonkeigo column and the kenjougo column got swapped. For the full verb pair lookup, see our keigo cheat sheet.

Mistake 2: Using kenjougo about your own boss (uchi-soto confusion)

When talking about your boss to your team, use sonkeigo (they outrank you). When talking about your boss to an outside client, switch to kenjougo — because to the outside world, your boss is part of your in-group (uchi) and should be humbled.

Forgetting to switch is one of the most-corrected mistakes for non-natives in client meetings.

Why this hurts: You elevated your own colleague above your client. In Japanese business culture, the client outranks everyone in your company by default. Your job is to humble your side.

The uchi-soto axis is covered in depth in the keigo guide’s uchi-soto section.

Tier 2: Fatal with anyone outside your in-group (3 mistakes)

These are grammatically fine. With internal peers they’re natural. The moment you say them to a client, vendor, or executive, you’re flagged as someone who doesn’t know how to read the room.

Mistake 3: Ryōkai shimashita to clients or seniors

Ryōkai (了解) carries a faint “acknowledged from above” tone for many native listeners — it’s what a supervisor says, not a subordinate. Safe inside your team. Risky with anyone external or above you.

3-step ladder: wakarimashita → shōchi shimashita → shōchi itashimashita. In external email, default to the top of the ladder and stop second-guessing.

Mistake 4: Go-kurou-sama to a senior

Go-kurou-sama (ご苦労さま) is historically top-down only — what a boss says to a subordinate, not the reverse. Use it with a senior and you sound like you’re evaluating their work from above.

Memory hook: Default to otsukare-sama desu with everyone in the office. You’ll never need to say go-kurou-sama yourself unless you become someone’s manager.

Mistake 5: Baito keigo (~ni narimasu, ~no hou) outside the service industry

“Kochira, kōhī ni narimasu” (“Here’s your coffee, becoming”), “o-kaikei no hou wa…” (“As for the bill, it’s…”) — these patterns spread from service-industry training manuals and are now called baito keigo (バイト敬語, “part-timer honorifics”) or manyuaru keigo (manual honorifics). Tolerable in retail. Instantly amateur-coded in a business meeting or email.

Quick test: If you can swap ~ni narimasu for ~desu / ~de gozaimasu, or drop ~no hou entirely, and the sentence still makes sense — it was baito keigo all along.

Tier 3: Slow drain on your professional impression (3 mistakes)

Grammatically borderline-acceptable. Most native speakers won’t correct you directly. But over weeks and months, these patterns add up to “tries too hard” or “trying to sound more polite than they need to be.” Worth fixing once Tiers 1 and 2 are clean.

Mistake 6: Overusing ~sasete itadaku

~sasete itadaku (〜させていただく) literally means “I humbly receive your permission to do X.” It’s correct only for actions that genuinely require the other party’s permission or favor. Modern over-application has been criticized publicly, including by the Japanese government’s language council.

Quick test: Ask yourself “is this action only possible because the other party gives me permission or favor?” Yes → sasete itadaku is fine. No → drop it and use ~itashimasu.

Mistake 7: Double keigo (二重敬語)

Stacking two layers of honorifics on the same verb is grammatically excessive, even when it sounds extra-polite.

Rule: One keigo layer per verb. Either o-V ni naru OR V-rareru, not both. A few double-keigo phrases have become idiomatic (o-ukagai itashimasu) and are tolerated — but unless you’re sure, default to one layer.

Mistake 8: Misplacing the o- / go- prefix

The base rule: o- with native Japanese words (kun’yomi), go- with Sino-Japanese words (on’yomi).

Exceptions exist: o-denwa (phone) and o-ryōri (cuisine) are Sino-Japanese but take o-. The rule gets you ~90% right. Listen to how your Japanese colleagues type on Slack — they’ll hit the right prefix without thinking, and that’s your live cheat sheet.

Relationship matrix: who tolerates what?

The same mistake hits differently depending on who’s listening. Use this table to spot which mistakes you should prioritize based on who you talk to most.

Legend: ○ fine / △ context-dependent / × unacceptable / – doesn’t apply

How to read this: Scan the columns where you have the most ×s (usually Client / external) and prioritize fixing those mistakes first. Mistakes that are ○ across most of your day-to-day audience can wait.

Digital-channel mistakes: Slack, email, and meetings each carry different risks

Keigo mistakes don’t land the same way across channels. A phrase that’s fine in Slack can be jarring in email, and vice versa.

Slack and Teams

Chat tools feel casual, so most people default to B (neutral-polite). But if the recipient is a senior manager from another department, or an external partner, B reads as too light.

• Ryōkai desu / kakunin shitokimasu → use shōchi shimashita / kakunin itashimasu when the recipient outranks you
• Heavy emoji or ”!” use lands oddly when the relationship calls for C

Principle: Pick your register by who you’re talking to, not by which app you’re using. The “Slack = casual” assumption is the biggest source of Tier 2 mistakes in expat workplaces.

Email

Email runs one level more formal than chat.

• Internal email = B, external email = C (this is the rock-solid default)
• Using C inside your own company sounds standoffish, almost passive-aggressive
• Itsumo o-sewa ni natte orimasu opens external email by default; it’s wrong (and slightly comical) in internal email

In-person and video meetings

The channel where you’re most likely to get corrected on the spot. Tier 1 mistakes (direction of respect, uchi-soto) tend to surface here because real-time speech doesn’t give you time to think. The habit that protects you: pause for half a beat and ask yourself “whose action is this — mine or the other person’s?” before reaching for an honorific verb.

Natives mess up too — so don’t aim for perfect

If you’ve read this far and counted up your own mistakes, here’s the reality check: native speakers don’t all use keigo perfectly either.

• ~sasete itadaku overuse is debated among native speakers, with different generations drawing different lines
• Baito keigo was spread by young native Japanese workers in the first place
• Double keigo is something even TV anchors slip into

There’s an upside for non-natives: the effort is visible. When a Japanese listener can tell you’re trying, they tend to be more forgiving than they would be of a native speaker making the same error.

That’s exactly why only Tier 1 needs to be fixed urgently. The rest you can clean up gradually. Trying to be perfect at all 8 at once is the move that paralyzes most learners. Pick the highest-tier mistake you’re currently making and fix that one this week.

Three recovery phrases for when you slip

Even with the diagnostic above, you’ll catch yourself mid-mistake sometimes. Memorize these three self-correction lines:

1. “Shitsurei shimashita, shōchi itashimashita.” (失礼しました、承知いたしました) — Overwrite a stray ryōkai shimashita the moment you hear yourself say it.
2. “Iinaoshimasu — Tanaka ga moushite orimashita.” (言い直します、田中が申しておりました) — Recover when you accidentally elevated your own boss in front of a client.
3. “A, ~itashimasu.” (あ、〜いたします) — Short-circuit a sasete itadakimasu before you finish it.

The person who notices and corrects mid-sentence sounds more competent than the person who recites perfect keigo on cue. Aim for that.

Frequently asked questions

What is the most common keigo mistake?

The single most common mistake among non-natives is using sonkeigo about your own actions — saying watashi ga irasshaimasu instead of watashi ga mairimasu. Sonkeigo elevates the other person; kenjougo humbles yourself. Reversing the direction of respect breaks the keigo system itself, which is why it tops every survey of non-native errors.

Where exactly does double keigo (nijuu keigo) cross the line?

The rule is one keigo layer per verb. Patterns like o-yomi ni nararemasu or go-ran ni nararemasu stack an honorific prefix construction on top of the ~rareru honorific suffix — that’s two layers, which is excessive. The fix is to use either o-V ni naru OR V-rareru, not both. A few stacked phrases like o-ukagai itashimasu are idiomatic and tolerated, but they’re exceptions, not the rule.

Why is ryōkai shimashita wrong with clients?

Ryōkai (了解) carries a subtle “acknowledged from above” tone for many Japanese listeners — historically it’s what a supervisor says, not a subordinate. With internal peers it’s fine. With a client, an external partner, or anyone you should be deferring to, swap it for shōchi itashimashita or kashikomarimashita. Making this substitution a reflex is one of the highest-ROI keigo upgrades a non-native can build.

Is baito keigo wrong, or acceptable in casual speech?

In a retail or service context, baito keigo (~ni narimasu, ~no hou) is widely accepted — that’s where it came from. In business meetings, client emails, and presentations, it reads as amateur. Swap ~ni narimasu for ~desu / ~de gozaimasu and drop ~no hou. The fix is mechanical, and the impression upgrade is large.

If a Japanese person tells me “don’t worry about your keigo,” can I stop worrying?

Worry about Tier 1 (direction of respect, uchi-soto). The rest you can fix gradually. “Don’t worry” is partly social grace — it’s not a green light to ignore mistakes entirely. The realistic path is to clean Tier 1 first, then Tier 2 for client-facing situations, and let Tier 3 polish itself over time.

Want more workplace phrases?

At Real-World Japanese, we’ve published Polite Japanese for Work: The Essential 30 — a PDF with 30 daily office phrases, each written at all three A/B/C levels, with romaji and situational notes. It covers the ryōkai → shōchi itashimashita substitution and most of the corrections in this article, in a form you can keep open during your next meeting.

→ Get The Essential 30 on Gumroad

More articles in this cluster:

• The keigo guide — the full A/B/C framework and how to pick the right level in any workplace scenario (pillar)
• The keigo cheat sheet — printable verb-pair quick reference
• Keigo examples — 10 workplace scenarios with side-by-side A/B/C phrasing and dialogue
• Japanese business phrases PDF page — 30 scenario phrases as copy-paste rows; covers most of the ryōkai → shōchi substitution scenarios in this article
• Polite Japanese phrases for the office — the spoken / first-week complement; shows the correct phrase for each office moment before the mistake happens
• Best way to learn keigo — a 90-day plan that prioritizes the Tier 1 mistakes in this guide
• How to write a Japanese business email — 8-step process designed to prevent the email-specific mistakes covered here